Notes From My Grandmother
I lived with my grandma while growing up. Not just me, the entire clan stayed with her. How did that happen? My Dad is her only child and since she lost her husband early in life, mother and son became almost inseparable. They went through life together. My mum was married into the mix and the kids joined as the years went by. In primary school when the nuclear family was defined to be one with just parents and kids, I nearly made a case for a nuclear family to have a grandma. Hey! That was my reality.
Living with grandma meant you were raised with Proverbs. You were told things in a roundabout manner but when you get it, you get it for life. It did not matter whether you were a two year old or an adult, the same dose was dished to you.
Today, I will share with you some of her words and some proverbs I learned here and there. The main issue I have is not about recalling them, it is the simple fact that some are now so mainstream to my way of life that I may not find anything profound about them. It is like your culture, you are blind to it until another person from another culture comes in contact with you. The other issue is that some were lifted verbatim from the Bible and so I want to think most people know about it. In my teenage years when I started reading the Bible for myself, it was always a delight to spot things my grandma use to say that are in the Bible. It felt like a “Eureka” moment.
Let me give you a few…..and the interpretation in italics.
- The good Lord knows why He did not give the lion horns. You can’t have it all in life. You have to make do with what you have and turn them into strategic advantages using your skills, dedication and effort.
- Lord, may I not sleep while giving birth. Some things are not just compatible in life. You need to be alive to push the baby out.
- Don’t ever join the gang that says, if I succeed or don’t, I will still eat from my mum. Self-explanatory.
- If you are told to sit well as a woman, don’t reply “I am wearing underwear”. Someone is watching your back and may notice something that you are not aware of. Someone may have a perspective that you are blind to. They are trying to notify you about it. How you respond determines how they will engage you further.
- The clay knows that the potter is in charge. This saying always comes after when we have “committed”. What follows is not always pretty.
- If your friends are uncomfortable with you, folks not friendly with you find you not so great and those who are indifferent to you are also uncomfortable with you, then there is something wrong with you. Really an attempt to explain this will confuse you the more. It means what it means.
- Your true wealth is measured by your relationship and the people you surround yourself with. No further decoding required.
- He is as showy as the straps of a bra. I grew up noticing that women were always adjusting bra straps, I got this intuitively. The bra tech might have improved greatly and people buy matching stuff now, then it was not so easy.
- If you do good, it is in your bank account. When you do evil, it goes to the same bank account. Always know that there is a withdrawal date.
- Let’s go, you wouldn’t budge. Let’s retreat. Same action. What do you really want?
- When it was bad, we were friends. Now that it is good, I am now useless to you. This was always told to perennial debtors who came begging when the times were bad. When they were paid salaries, they found ways to evade.
- It took a lot of conspiracy and collaboration to kill Jesus but He resurrected. Don’t fight a good man. The energy to bring the person down is too great. And there is always a divine way of escape for them.
I will share some powerful ones from other sources.
- A lion cannot birth a goat. This was from my mum. Infact the literal meaning is “you were birthed by a lion but you behave like a goat, what went wrong ?” When my mum says this, you will adjust either by words or by force.
- If someone is prettier than you, don’t say she is using powder. If powder is the difference maker, then go get yours. My secondary school class mate, Ime Ukut, first said this. This proverb is one of the reasons I always acknowledge and tell people how good they are in whatsoever they are doing.
- Pikin de craze but dem talk say e rough. It was from one mother to another during a hospital visit. The message was well transferred.
I lost my paternal grandmother in 2016. It was a difficult period for me. It’s not nice to go home and not see her but …it is what it is. One day we will all go to our maker, the goal is to go prepared. Amen.
Regards,
Gabriel.
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