You Need The Naysayers
Nothing Wrong With Naysayers.
Yes I said that. Because it is ok to be one.
Why should I be an “Ayesayer” when I don’t believe in your project.
It is my right not to believe in your project. Get use to that.
Naysayers have their usefulness factor. They help you refine your goals. They force you to think harder and get in to more depth of your understanding of the matter at hand.
See naysayers as a feedback mechanism. If you take that perspective, you can see their point of view. They are not always right but they make you see your blind spot.
My second son, “Colourful” named 3 teams that will relegated this season from the Premiership. My first son, “Order” could not believe that he included one of the top 4 teams. Colourful stood his ground. He put the issues on how it is to be viewed. “IT IS MY OPINION”, he thundered. At some point the matter was brought to me.
Again, Colourful, stood his ground and gave his reason for why he included that team. Some background on this fella. He is the same guy that supports Tottenham. With reasons, of course. It gives you an idea of who he is.
By the time the argument was over, we resolved the following:
1. Everyone has his opinion and reasons why they have those opinions.
2. These opinions will be validated when the final results are out.
Until then, we can argue until we turn blue.
There are three types of persons you will encounter on your way to your destination.
a. The Naysayers — They don’t either believe in you or your goals. Please notice that there are people that don’t believe in you and so it is not about what you have set out to do. There are others that do not believe on the mission you are embarking on. Both set of naysayers are required to make things happen. And they are different.
b. The Believers — They believe in you despite whatsoever you want to do. Infact let me put it more aptly; they believe in you more than you believe in yourself. They will do anything to see you succeed. Unfortunately, you will not have too many of them but one is enough. Caveat Emptor: They can also spoil things for you because they hardy drill you to get to the substance of what you want to do.
c. The Indifferent — They have no stake either in your life’s journey or your goals. In the words of my grandmother, if they hear that you are ill, it is ok. When they hear that you are healthy, it is still ok. I mean they have no stake in the enterprise. They are far fetched from the ongoings in your existence. Na so e just be.
I enumerated these people in order to state some facts. First is that I have been those three characters in different circumstances. I have been a naysayer, a believer and an indifferent. Sometimes, I don’t get the point that is to be made. Sometimes I don’t get the person. Sometimes I throw my weight behind the project.
Guess what, how I feel and whatsoever state I am in the process does not guarantee success. I have seen things that I wrote down blossom. I have supported projects / causes that died. Morale of the story: If you are deeply convinced of where you are going and you have the “inner proof”, please keep going. I will also advise that you talk with more people to tap from their experience and expertise. Not every one is going on YOUR journey.
Don’t get upset that someone did not believe in you at first. Paul did not believe in the gospel of Jesus Christ at first but can you imagine Christianity without the teachings of Paul ?
“New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common.” ― John Locke.
Also do not go about pontificating how many of the naysayers you proved wrong. That is none of your business. People are entitled to their opinion based on whatsoever matrix they use in decision making.
For some people, it seems the story of their success in not complete without painting the situation as gloomy as possible and the odds against them. maybe it makes the story “tough” but most people will not be impressed by it. You are wasting their time.
I remember sharing a story with someone and he was baffled at the odds I surmounted in order to achieve a certain goal. He went on to empathize with me on how I bootstrapped to get here and how insanely difficult that must have been.
I casually told him that I don’t think I did anything special because almost everyone around me had the same set of obstacles, if not more impossible obstacles to overcome. He told me that there must be people who didn’t believe in me. I told him maybe but I did not notice. And that was the truth. I was on the pathway to survival. I was not trying to do anything grand.
I do remember those who stood by me and I have always tried to show them how grateful I was and still am. I focus on the positives and try as much as I can to eliminate the negative. Elimination of negative forces is an active duty of mine. I do not outsource that work. Focusing on the positive brings more positivism. It brings better people to my team.
Just like the tea bag needs hot-water, a cup, a spoon, sugar, cream et al to be its best; you need everyone to be your best. You need Goliaths, Naysayers, Optimist, Realist, Pessimist, et al on your path. Everyone has its duty. See what they can contribute to the journey and keep going.
Life is about getting things done despite the facts.
Get use to that.
Regards,
Gabriel.
